Picture this, you’ve been bouncing between meetings on Zoom and starting at Slack all day and by the time you’re done, you are craving anything that feels real. Not another doom scroll session or Netflix binge. You’re looking for something tangible, something human. This is where the third place fits in.
This is a magical spot that sits between your home, or first place, and your work, or second place. It is something entirely different, a cozy place where you can enjoy conversation and community, getting back in touch with like people.
The term “third place” was first described in the 1980s by sociologist Ray Oldenburg. He described pubs, cafes, and barber shops as the “third places” holding society together. Now decades later, we need these third places more than ever.
After years of algorithmic living and Zoom fatigue, people are rediscovering the simple joy of hanging out IRL. The new wave of third places are remixing the classics, and here is why you need to find yours.
A Brief Insight Into Hanging Out
Before we start to explore your potential new third place, it is important to discover why they matter so much.
In Oldenburg’s research, he documented that societies with strong third places, like English pubs, French cafes, or Italian Piazzas tended to have healthier democracies, greater civic engagement, and happier people. Third places create what he coined “informal public life”. Places where you bump into neighbors, overhear strangers’ conversations and subliminally broaden your perspectives.
Third places is not merely a European quirk, America has its own traditions. Think diners, soda fountains, church basements, or bowling alleys. However, with the suburban sprawl spreading in the late 20th century, shopping malls took over many of the casual hangout spots. Chains like Starbucks have tried to brand themselves as third places. Typically these never fully deliver the unpredictable and often messy social glue Oldenburg described.
Fast forward to today and most of us are lonelier than we would like to admit. We may have 500 “friends” on our socials, but no one to just go out and grab tacos with. We tend to spend our lives living digitally; working from home, chatting in Discord servers, and ordering rides and food from apps. While this is convenient, it does leave a hole. It is not unusual to know all about your co-worker’s cat, yet have never met your neighbors.
Third places are the antidote to this. They are a reminder that community is something we do, rather than something you scroll. These are the places where you can stumble into a conversation you wouldn’t have predicted. Where you see people who are not like yourself. Where you can remember that laughing in the same room is quite different to laughing at the same meme.
What Good Third Places Share
There is no hard and fast rule for what makes a good third place, but the best ones do have several things in common.
They are places where you can linger. There is no pressure to rush out of the door. You can simply kick back and relax. They are the type of place where strangers feel welcome. Whether it is a friendly barista or a good host, they offer connections with the potential to stick. Think the atmosphere of Cheers. The place where “everybody knows your name.”
Today, great third places have a ladder of involvement, where you can come to look around and return to join an activity or chat with a group. They have a rhythm which creates rituals and fuels a sense of belonging. Whether it is a weekly trivia night or a monthly book club, you automatically schedule it into your plans as a routine activity you’re looking forward to.
So, now you know what makes a good third place, let’s dive into some great examples.
Coffee Shops with Maker Spaces
If you think of a stereotypical coffee shop, the vibe is likely to be laptop zombies who are all in their own little worlds. However, the new breed of cafe is a lot livelier. These happening spots are half cappuccino bar and half DIY playground. They’re the place where you can sip on a latte and 3D print a phone stand before it cools.
In the past, makerspaces tended to be intimidating. Newbies would hesitantly stand around wondering “do I need training for that?” or waiting for permission to jump in. But when you tack on a coffee shop, it suddenly feels more welcoming.
You can simply pop in for a coffee and the next thing you know you’re signing up to join a laser cut jewelry class. Even if you don’t want to directly participate, people watching is far more fun when you can see people playing around with a CNC router in the next room.
The project type nature of these spaces make it easier to get conversation going. You can admire someone’s project, discuss techniques or share a laugh over a failed experiment. This is a massive contrast to typical cafes where everyone seems to be trying to write the next American classic or creating their latest reel.
While these spaces aren’t everywhere, there are some great examples. Open Works in Baltimore, MD is 34,000 square feet of creative chaos. There is a coffee shop at the entrance, so you can grab your espresso and then wander through the woodworkers, metal artists and digital tinkerers who are all enthusiastically at work. It’s like being on the set of Project Runway but with welding goggles.
In Connecticut, you’ll find Danbury Makerspace. This is housed in a repurposed hotel and it is a blend of cafe, gastropub, art gallery and makerspace. You can drink your coffee in the lobby and then head up stairs to try laser cutting your initials into anything you can think of. Danbury Makerspace is a non-profit and they are currently raising funds to open a second location.
Imagine the vibe of a local cafe but there is a 3D printer humming in the corner, and there’s a woodworking shop in the next room…separated by a glass wall, of course. You can sit and sip a coffee while watching someone laser engrave their new skateboard deck.
With so many of us working remotely, creativity often gets sidelined. Coffee shop makerspaces remind us that making isn’t just a professional thing. Anyone who wants to learn, tinker, or simply hang around the buzz of creation is welcome.
Bookstore Bars
Some people insist that they get the spark for their best ideas when they’ve had a couple of glasses of wine. Others claim their inspiration comes from reading the right paperback. Well, this third space combines the two.
Bookstore bars are the perfect hybrid for introverts who secretly want to transform into an extrovert or for those extroverts who really love books.
When you need an icebreaker to get chatting, you simply need to point to the book in someone’s hand and instantly there is a conversation starter. These places have a social vibe, but it is quieter than a conventional bar. You won’t lose your voice trying to start a conversation. They also can host events such as book clubs or trivia nights that make it even easier to slide into the community without needing to engage in awkward small talk.
If this sounds like the third place for you, check out Rough Draft Bar & Books in Kingston, NY. There’s beer, coffee, pies, and books combined with nightly events. Essentially, it is the Cheers of the Hudson Valley, just with more literary references.
While you’re in New York, you could also call into The Lit Bar in the Bronx. This is the only indie bookstore/wine bar combo in the Bronx. You can unwind by sipping a cabernet and browsing your favorite fiction section. This makes it part neighborhood living room and part cultural hub.
VR Lounges
If books and beer are not your thing and you don’t have the DIY skills to build your own creations, why not head into the virtual world. In a VR lounge, you and your friends strap on headsets, grab your virtual blasters and immediately you can be in a neon cyberpunk city battling robots. After half an hour, you’ll be sweaty, laughing, and rewatching a highlight reel of your slightly clumsy, yet fully heroic moves.
VR is nothing new, but doing it at home can be isolating. In a lounge, it transforms into a group spot. You’ll have a time boxed session which is ideal for a night out and there is social spillover, where you rehash the adventure with post game drinks.
VR lounge chains are springing up to cater to this need. Sandbox VR has multiple locations in Chicago, Dallas, Vegas, San Francisco, Seattle, and other cities. They offer team based, high tech adventures with haptic vests, full body tracking and movie level storytelling.
If you prefer a more free-roam experience, check out Zero Latency. This chain has locations in Austin, Las Vegas, and other cities. You’re not tethered by any wires, so there’s a feeling of playing laser tag inside Ready Player One.
VR lounges are a great reminder that tech doesn’t need to push us further apart. We don’t need to be alone and isolated with our screens. Technology brings people together and are revitalizing empty retail spaces.
Board Game Cafes
Imagine sitting in a restaurant where the menu includes cocktails, nachos, and Catan. With a small cover fee, you can pick from a game library that has hundreds or possibly thousands of game titles. You can then spend the night rolling dice with friends or getting to know strangers.
Games have built in icebreakers. Rather than worrying about awkward small talk, you’ll be plotting moves. They appeal across generations, so you could be playing with college students or retirees. They are also flexible enough to work as a family outing, coworker night out, or date.
These cafes remind us of the joy of play. You can forget about your productivity driven day job. No deliverables, no KPIs, just laughter, dice, and a splash of healthy competition.
Great examples of board game cafes include Mox Boarding House. This game store, restaurant, and community hub has locations in numerous cities and hosts tournaments, charity events, and private rooms. The food is great, so it’s a night of dinner and dice.
You could also check out Snakes & Lattes in Tucson, Chicago, Tempe and others. This chain originated in Toronto, but has expanded into numerous U.S cities. Each offers a massive game library, full restaurant & bar and themed nights.
How to Find the Right Third Space For You
If a third place sounds like just what you’ve been looking for, you need to find the right one for you. This may seem a little daunting, but there are some tips that can help you.
Clarify What You Want
Before you start to look at your options, ask yourself what you want to get out of this space. You may be looking for conversation and social connections or fitness, creativity or inspiration. Your priorities will shape your search.
If you’re craving calm, a library, nature trail or garden could be a good fit. On the other hand, for social energy, think hobby clubs and cafes. If you’re interested in growth or self expression, consider dance classes or maker spaces.
Assess Accessibility and Convenience
The best third space is the one that you’ll actually regularly visit. Even if a venue seems ideal, if you need to drive 45 minutes to get there, you’re not likely to go consistently.
A good third place should be close to work or home, easy to get to and have opening hours to suit your typical routines.
Check the Energy and Atmosphere
Each space will have its own vibe, so you need one that resonates with you. It is important to visit a potential space and take note of the noise levels, to see if the background chatter is energizing or distracting, and the lighting, which can shift the feel of the space. Check out the decor and people’s behavior. The right place will make you feel inspired and comfortable.
Test Out the Social Dynamics
Third spaces typically thrive on human connections. So, if you want to feel a sense of community, you need to get a feel for how people interact. Do the conversations flow naturally? Are strangers striking up chats? Or is everyone stuck in their own little laptop bubble?
Try to ask yourself if you would feel comfortable striking up a conversation. Is there a sense of inclusion or is there a cliquish feel where everyone else seems to know each other?
Align With Your Interests and Values
The perfect third space will align with your personal passions and values. Essentially, it will be a reflection of who you are, becoming more than just a location. So, you need to experiment a little. You may not find the perfect space immediately. Visit a few places and make a note of your impressions. Does the space leave you feeling inspired or energized, drained or even indifferent?
The ideal third space will have a place for you to participate and contribute, so you need to feel comfortable. This participation will deepen your sense of belonging to the community. As you start to recognize familiar faces and share experiences, the space will take on even more meaning.
The Future of Third Places
The need for third places has created a wave of venues opening up across the country. While at the moment, they may be limited to larger cities, the potential is great, so you could find ones coming to your area.
There are a few trends that are likely to emerge in the coming months and years. These include hybrid models where you’ll find wilder mashups. This could be something like yoga studios with kombucha bars or climbing gyms teamed with podcast studios.
You could also expect to see micro third places appearing. These could be tiny storefronts or converted garages that provide just enough space for 10 to 15 people. We may also see digital/physical hybrids, where communities that start online spill into in-person meetups.
| Third Place Energy | How It Feels | Why It Matters | The Long-Term Glow-Up |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Social Battery Charger | Casual convos without pressure | Low-key human connection resets your mood | Less doomscrolling, more IRL joy |
| The Routine Anchor | Something to look forward to outside work/home | Creates balance and structure | Builds healthier daily rhythms |
| The Inspiration Spark | Fresh perspectives from new people | Keeps your brain out of autopilot | Fuels creativity and ideas you wouldn’t get alone |
| The Identity Booster | A spot where you’re more than your job or chores | Helps you explore different sides of yourself | Strengthens confidence + self-expression |
| The Community Thread | Tiny interactions that add up | Reminds you you’re part of something bigger | Creates belonging that actually lasts |
Third places are not luxuries, they provide an infrastructure for happiness. They are where we can build friendships that are not scheduled, discover new hobbies and interests, and remember that strangers can become drinking buddies, team mates or new friends.
So, the next time you’re heading straight home after work, consider taking a detour. Grab a glass of wine at a bookstore or a latte at a makerspace, head down to play a board game or put on a VR headset. Netflix and your couch will still be there tomorrow. Tonight, a new community might be right there waiting for you to join in.
